Why I don't "Like" Facebook

I’ve recently had to join Facebook, setting up a personal FB account to then launch my businessDislike Mark Z page--“business” being my groovy freelance writing. No “Chef Barbara” or even "Destiny's Gourmet" site coming up soon. (Sorry, honey.)

In just a few short weeks I’ve gone through the five stages of Facebook grief: Denial, Determination, Frustration, Cussing, and finally, Grudging Acceptance.

But I refuse to go quietly into the Internight without one last jab at Like Donnythe beast. Behold the Top Ten list of nine reasons why I don’t like
Facebook.

And the #1 reason why I do.

Top Nine Reasons Why I Don’t “Like” Facebook

9. Seems to me if someone's following you, you should call the police.

8. Hey, there’s a reason why I no longer talk to Larry Schmidt from the 3rd grade.

7. Ah ha! I knew everyone was having more fun than me!

6. Two words: time suck.

5. I can't find the WTF! comment button.

4. "Hello--America's Most Wanted? I think that dude you've been looking for just sent me a Friend request.”

3. I don't want to be poked--stop that!

2.  Listen, I work for the government and even we don’t know half the intel on you that Facebook does.

1. Before you know it, it’s 2 a.m. and you’ve just posted more naked selfies than Kim and Kanye on their honeymoon.

And the #1 reason why I DO like Facebook:

1. Because in the last few weeks I’ve seen pictures of one friend's former life as an FBI steno girl, and another gal pal's long-ago photo of when she held her baby son for the first time.

Facebook is giving me a cherished glimpse into my friends' and family's life stories and for that I'll even instant-chat with Larry from the 3rd. Who knows? These days he might be the book publisher I’ve been waiting for. 

 

Favorite Quotes:

Writing is telepathy.”
– Stephen King

Serious art is born from serious play.”
– Julia Cameron

Barbara Neal Varma is my favorite author.”
– Mom
 

 

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