Kitchen Renovation for a Noncook - Day 27

The new stove is hooked up.

Making our heroine think wow, size does matter. 

Tim Allen's "Tim the Tool Man" comes to mind: "This mo-fo Frigidaire is a duel-fuel range with gas on top, electric down below, and goes from zero to 17000 BTUs in just under 60 seconds (grunt, grunt, grunt). Why, this baby could cook up enough food for the real housewives of Beverly Hills during a pot party." 

Or a hundred hungry Jazzercisers, she's just sayin.' 

She admits the thing frightens her.

Before, she had the comfort of a slow-burn electric stove which was as slow as she was thinking up what to cook for dinner.

Now she faces flames with enough flare to make any Benihana's proud. Dueling knives and onion volcanoes can't be far behind.

And that's just on top. In its belly, the beast has a doublewide-sized oven and below that a ... a ... (“Mi-chael ... !? What's that drawer thingy down there?”)

Ohhhh, a "warm and serve" bin. For warming up Domino's pizza when they're slow to deliver and it gets a little cold, got it. 

Hubby sees her pouring over the new oven manuals. "Well, look at you!" he says, eyes sparkling. "Checking it all out, huh?"

"What? Oh, no, sorry, don't get too excited, I just needed some stats," she explains.


"Yeah, I'm adding Tim the Tool Man-speak to today's kitchen reno blog. Need numbers to go with the grunts."

He laughs, bless him, and let's her get back to it. New kitchen, same old wife. Some things you just can't renovate.

Tune in tomorrow for our next exciting installment: Teppanyaki for the Knife-challenged.


 Photo collage of new stove compared to Darth Vader

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