Kitchen Renovation for a Noncook - Day 21

Our heroin’s house is like a little shop of horrors!

What's happening??!! (Poltergeist, 1982)

The dark tale started last night. The scene: she arrives home and is greeted with (quick intake of breath) the half bath's toilet seat left up! Photo of toilet with lid up

Obviously, having no female workers meant having no proper positioning of the bathroom appliance lid. 

But somehow she avoids fainting and composes herself to continue, chin up, throughout the rest of the house. Destination: the guest bathroom ‘cause hubby had texted her to "Check it out when you get home. The tile is almost done." Groovy.

Photo of toilet in the tubShe opens the door ....

Aaaarrggg! There's a toilet in the tub! A toilet in the tub! (Sheesh, and she thought the jaunty toilet was bad.)

Wait a minute. Wait just a damn minute. If the toilet's there … She's afraid to open her eyes. She's afraid to close her eyes! (The Blair Witch Project, 1999) Photo of close-up of frightened eyes

(Wait for it ... )

Nooooooo!! Not another exposed sewer hole!! The gators are coming! The gators are coming! 

Photo of open sewer holeLuckily, hubby comes home in just the nick of time.

She races to him: "We need another toilet-hole condom, stat! Grab a box top and the 20 lb weights. I'm talkin' full containment!"  

He gets the box top. He gets the 20 lb hand weights.

He gets to have a peaceful night's sleep.

Today proved no less entertaining if less horror-film-ish.

Turns out the house is getting all new "casings" (technical term, be impressed) around the doors.

Add the casing boys to the tile dudes and cabinet guys, and our brave gal is found left alone in a house full of men and their power tools. Photo of man holding nail gun with knees

Oh, look, there's a tool man now, carrying his nail gun--omg, in his crotch. Leaving her, for once ... speechless.

Tune in tomorrow for our next exciting installment: Crotch Pockets and Other Fashion Trends.

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